yosi

yosi... ito ang bumubuhay sa puso at utak ko ngayon..
sa parehong paraan na ito din ang unti-unting pumapatay sa aking sistema...

yosi... dito nagsisimula ang bawat kwento sa aking buhay...
sa parehong paraan na dito din natatapos...

gusto ko nang tigilan...
pero hindi pwede...
dahil sa bawat usok, nandoon ang ala-ala...
ala-ala ng bawat kwentong nagwawakas ilang sandali matapos ang simula...
at ala-ala ng bawat tao na naglalaho kasabay ng pagdating ng umaga..

madalas ayaw kong dumating ang umaga...
hindi dahil sa mainit, hindi dahil sa kelangan na namang pumasok sa klase...
kundi dahil sa takot..
ipinapaalala lang ng sikat ng araw na sa buhay na to, hindi lahat permanente...
at sa madalas na pagkakataon, iiwan at iiwan ka ng taong hindi mo man lang ninais mawala kahit sandali..
at sa madalas din na pagkakataon, ala-ala na lang ang maiiwan sayo...
mga ala-alang babaunin mo habang buhay..
mga ala-alang kasama mo kahit sa panaginip...
mga ala-alang madalas na dahilan kung bakit basang-basa ng luha ang unan mo sa gabi..
at mga ala-ala na madalas ding dahilan kung bakit kulay dilaw na ang teddy bear mo na dati ay kulay puti...

hindi ko kayang tigilan ang yosi...
dahil hindi ko sya kayang kalimutan...
dahil kahit na iniwan nya ako...
sya pa din ang hahanap-hanapin ko...
at kahit na maubos na ang yosi sa buong mundo...
mananatili pa din sa aking isip ang bawat usok na aming pinagsaluhan...
dahil sa bawat usok, nandon ang mga ala-ala na iniwan nya...

dahil kahit ilang beses man akong mabuhay...
sya pa din ang pipiliin kong mahalin...
kahit na alam kong iiwan din nya ako...
at kahit na alam kong kagaya ng bawat usok na nakalalason, ay unti-unti din syang maglalaho...

Just Another Beautiful Story

My life used to be a big question

My existence had never been clear

When my world fell

When all I had to chase was my own demise

While I was lost in my own universe,

I found yours

The world that I was longing for

The only place in reality where I knew I could find acceptance

I wandered around and found more than enough of what I was looking for

This time, I am sure of who I am

I am certain of what I want

I am certain of what I need

And I am certain of why I even exist in this world

Now, I already know my purpose

I have already figured out the story that I wanted to create

it’s all because of you

You guided me to my own niche

You made me a different person

A better one indeed

In no doubt, you did a great job

You’ve had a pretty good number of stories

While I am still hoping that in a perfect moment, at a perfect place,

I will be able to start mine as well

You wish for a happy ending

But I simply wish for a story

I know, in due time, our wishes will come true

At some point from now, different pages in our lives will be opened

I know you hope for a better one

Soon enough, you will find one

Sad to say, but apart from mine

Though you may not be a part of my new story

and I may not be a part of yours

Believe me

You will always be in my memory

No matter how wonderful the future might be

You’re only the best that life has given me

This time, just before you settle for your own happiness elsewhere,

Just before you track the path you've always wanted

let me express my sincerest gratefulness

Thank you

Thank you for sharing a story with me

Thank you for putting another beautiful story in my life’s archive

And good luck to the life ahead of you

May you find your happily-ever-after there as I try to find mine here

If only I had a chance to see you

If only I had known you earlier

Maybe someday, somewhere, our worlds will meet again

Until that time comes…

i made this thank-you note couple of months ago... for someone who made me realize who i really am.... but i wasn't able to give it to him. so i just posted it here...
should the time come that he reach this site, maybe he will know that he is the one i am referring to...