has forever started?

is it always true that the best is yet to come?
what if the best had just come? what if you were just too busy minding other things that you didn't notice it was actually there, waiting to be seen and waiting to be embraced?
it vanished swiftly for you failed to take care of it..
then all of a sudden, you will find yourself spending your whole lifetime waiting for that best that you once ignored and let go...
hopeful as you are, you will still hold on to that belief that your fate is about to give you something more in time..

then a question suddenly popped out of the cold night: when will you know that what you have is already the best?
simple answer: just believe in it.. just keep on your mind that what you've got for the moment is already the best..
it may not be the best forever..
but best for the moment..
best, nonetheless..

hold it tight while it lasts, embrace it and take care of it...
nothing lasts forever, dear..
the best is nothing but transitory..
it is meant to end..
to give way to another one..
for tomorrow may not see us still in each other's arms..
but at least we had and gave our best for that one selfish moment..
so there, you are my best..
i am yours...
we may not be each other's best forever..
but best for the moment...
best, nonetheless..

i might want to be with you until that forever has ended..
but it still depends on the road that lies ahead of us..
for it's not only you and me..
but you, me and them..

the man in a maze

i fell asleep late last night because of the sweet poison i got from my deadly sticks.. my dream brought me inside a life-size maze.. and inside that maze was an overwhelming darkness.. i got afraid for i might not get out.. i looked for someone who would help me to escape from the fate i encountered.. i was afraid, and yet i had to move.. i did not know where to start.. neither did i know which direction should i venture.. i finally chose to move forward..

then i found this guy.. he looked so familiar yet so strange.. he seemed lost.. i attempted to call him but i did not know his name.. i walked towards him.. he noticed me and posted a tiny smile..

he looked fine.. but the instinct in me was saying that he is not.. i somehow knew that deep within his smile was a feeling of sadness, of loneliness.. that he was trapped in the vastness of an empty space.. he was lost indeed..

"help me find the way out, please," he told me with his soft voice and teary eyes.. and then he cried.. he was like a child forfeited of his favorite toy, an infant lost in a vacuum of his weakness.. i knew he wanted someone to talk to.. i knew he wanted a shoulder to cry on.. i knew he wanted to understand and to be understood.. i knew he needed a hero.. and i decided to be that hero.. i tapped him in his shoulder and told him i was listening.. he was seeking for answers to his endless questions.. he was craving for someone who would stay next to him against time, against distance and even against his own fate.. i was afraid i could just stay with him while i was in my dream.. i was afraid i had to leave him.. he was lost indeed.

i stayed with him in that solitary moment.. i wanted time to stop so that i could stay with him a little longer.. we tried to conquer the darkness and escape in that maze.. i tried to help him find his way out.. i wanted to ease his pain and see his bright face even before i leave.. but he was trapped in that maze.. and it seemed that there was no way out.. he couldn't move for he did not know where to go.. he was lost indeed..

until i heard the sound of time calling my name.. it was my alarm clock ringing for already half an hour.. i realized that in any moment i would have to leave him in that maze.. i wanted him to come with me but he couldn't.. i left him alone.. if only i could stay.. if only i could guide him.. he was lost indeed..

deep inside, i knew he was not a stranger.. but never did i know him then.. i finally woke up.. i grabbed my cellphone to check for messages.. then i found the same guy on my wallpaper.. it was exactly him.. i paused for a while, i stared at his image on my phone..

then i realized that the man on my dream was no one but me..

i was lost indeed..

on seduction

true true... :)

the campus library, a nice place for flirting?

the campus library - a place that many of the students do not even know exists; a place where the dragon-like woman growls at the slightest whisper one could make; and most of all, a place i rarely visit...

but who says studying is the only thing possible in the library? well if you're one, then you got to read this...

last friday was one of the hell days that the semester had brought... i had three exams and the fourth draft of my thesis to accomplish... i wasn't prepared for the exams yet and there wasn't even a single revision done to my thesis draft... so many things to do yet so little time to do all of them... not to mention that i was high those days because of less sleep and the abundance of school works i had to do...

i went straight to the library right after i got through my first exam... i took advantage of the silence inside the library to take a review on my notes... but i was not enthusiastic and i really lacked energy to even lift the pages of my book...

malapit ko na nga kantahin ang unwell dahil sa sobrang pag-iinarte dahil sa pagod...

too bad, i really had to study...

so there, i took the tiniest piece of my "estudyante mode" and forced those lessons to enter my brain... well, it took me a while before i jived with the lessons on my economic sociology...

i wasn't really fond of looking at people around me, so i just focused with what i was doing and ignored other students in the place...

when all of a sudden...

i saw this heavenly but equally hot face in my front... just a table away from the couch where i was seated... what the heck... i was destructed... my attention was diverted... shit, all my efforts to study were gone down the drain again... "why now?..why here?," i told myself as i softly whisper...

oh yeah, my entire attention was caught by him... in my mind, i named him heaven..

tangna tol, mag-aral ka!, just another thing i whispered to myself

then i heard a voice on my right ear - it was my angel asking me to leave the place immediately and find one where i can study my lessons well... then came another voice: stay there! just stay! - was it my devil? no, it was me.. hahaha.. there was a glimpse of heaven right in front of me, so why the hell would i leave?

oh yeah, i forgot about the two remaining exams...

i pretended to read my book while gazing at my heaven...

after a while, he caught me staring at him... i panicked... i blushed... i was bothered that he might have thought that i was flirting at him (well, sort of... hahaha)

to my surprise, i saw him smiling at me... whoah, was that real? i checked again and his soft and heavenly smile affirmed its truth... he was indeed smiling at me... i smiled back with a bit of annoyance on my face... i am not really comfortable whenever someone i do not know smiles at me...

i cut my stare and focused on my book... then a moment after, i looked at him again... he smiled again... shit, nothing about my economic sociology entered my brain... because of this hotter-than-hell heaven right in front of me... he was wearing a pink shirt that really matched his white complexion... his braces even added points to his fresh face... i guess he was younger than me.. a sophomore or a junior perhaps...

i made a glimpse on my wrist watch with the hope that the time stopped for that moment so that i would be able to stay longer with heaven... until i realized that it was actually 2:25 in the afternoon - just five minutes left before my next exam... shit, i hadn't been able to review my lessons... super shit, i had to leave my heaven that soon...

i looked at him and posted my last naughty but equally sweet smile... he did the same... too bad i did not have the guts to get to know him... and another bad thing, it was the library and we were not allowed to acquaint with people there... or else, the dragon queen will blow us with fire.. haha

i finally left the library, my heaven's haven... whew, that was the only time when i had fun inside that solemn and equally boring place... for almost four years of college life, that was the first ever time i wished for time to stop so that i could stay longer inside the library...

from then on, i decided that i will keep coming back to the library...

to you, my heaven, i will see you again...

super mario

sana ako na lang si super mario...
para kahit kailan, pwede akong magpalipat-lipat sa iba't-ibang mundo...
sana may mga warp zone na lang sa buhay, para hindi ko na kailangan dumaan sa mga pagsubok..


alam ko na hindi pwedeng habang-buhay akong nasa gitna ng dalawang mundo... oo, hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa din talaga alam kung saan ako lulugar...

alam kong darating at darating ang panahon na kailangan kong magdesisyon sa kung saan ba talaga ako mas masaya at sa kung saan ko ba talaga mahahanap ang tunay kong kailangan...

at alam ko, na kahit saang mundo ang piliin ko, meron at merong mga pagsubok...

kaya ngayon, hahayaan ko muna ang sarili ko na maging masaya sa paglalakbay sa dalawang mundo...
at hanggat hindi ko pa nahahanap ang lugar ko, mananatili muna akong isang super mario - patuloy na magpapalipat-lipat, habang patuloy na hinahanap ang tunay na sarili...

at hanggat madilim pa ang landas na aking nilalakaran, heto muna ako, sa isang madilim na larawan...

patuloy na hihintayin ang liwanag na gagabay sa tamang daan na dapat kong tahakin, patungo sa tamang lugar kung saan ako magiging masaya... habang-buhay...

the same old story, and the new me

so here i go again... back to that same old realistic [read: negative] views about this thing called love... back to that same old game i used to play when i was a total stranger into my own reality...

and here's the story, my first relationship with someone from the same plane...
and my first breakup... and yes, the demise of this hopeful in me...

after your request, promises and gigantic dreams for the two of us, after that night when you did not sleep just to watch me sleeping, and after that romantic breakfast, i finally gave in... i knew it was a roller coaster ride that awaits the two of us... but i took the risk... and my love for you had started... i gave you myself, and the promise of forever... i was full of hope... and endless smiles was the description of my life back then...

i thought our forever had began and my own happily-ever-after had come into existence... just i thought...

days had passed... sweet messages and romantic thoughts had been exchanged... you held my hand as if there was no tomorrow... you hugged me so tight as if you wouldn't let me go...

until one rainy day...

you sent me a text message... you said you had several issues with your life, with our relationship and with me... to make the long story short, you asked me if we could JUST be friends... you said you just have to fix your personal trouble, WITHOUT ME... you said you can't
hold on anymore... i knew it beforehand... i already figured it out several days before...

so right there and then, i gave up... right there and then, i already got off that same old vehicle we used to board towards eternity... right there and then, i lost sight of our forever... right there and then, i ended my journey with you...

we were done... and i already gave up...

you had me once... and that was more than enough... until another rainy midnight... i received a text message... you said you want me back, you wanted the "us" to be materialized again... but i declined... sorry, but i do not believe in "second once in a lifetime"...

i am not that same old stupid guy anymore... i am not blind not to see how much i sacrificed for you and how much i took my own issues for granted just to settle yours... i have my own stories too, but i set them aside to listen to yours... i have my own life too, but i set it aside to fix yours... i gave you the best that i could...

mahal kita at mamahalin kita hanggat nasa akin ka, pero pag tapos na yon at nawala ka na, tapos na din ang pagmamahal ko sa yo... ganon lang kasimple yon...

and i see no reason why i should still do...

i was once yours... that's it... end of OUR story... no second part, no replay...

it's now time for me to focus on my OWN story...

i grew strong, strong enough not to even bother to text you... i know it's your birthday on sunday, don't worry, as promised, i'll still be the one to greet you first... it's not a big deal at all since i always stay up late... i guess a greeting message will do... no phone call, no... i have some more important things to do than to phone you and discuss about the same old issues again - about the same old sorry and the box office i-promise-to-take-care-of-you-this-time again... not anymore... as i've said, i'm not yours anymore...

i know how to play my game... and ours was OVER... and yes, this guy has his brain stronger than his heart, and his pride stronger than his emotional investments... i know when to hold on and i know when to give up... and i gave up... i don't want to hold on to someone whose promises were not even materialized... and i don't want to look desperately waiting for you... i did, i waited... but i got up from my stupidity... and now i am wide awake...

and no, we're not getting there anymore... we're n0t getting to that eternity that i promised... my hands are not yours anymore...

i am not the one who should feel guilty here... i HAD done my part... i made sure that you had a great time with me... it was you who gave up, it was you who did not take care of our story... and it was you who first took your hand away from mine...

i guess i'm playing this game fairly... and i guess my defenses are still working well... i refuse to shed tears in my pillow... not again...

oh well, i can still be a friend... as i told you before, i was not hurt... yeah, for real... you know how to reach me... i am still using the same old mobile numbers... and still in the same old dormitory... i can still be your occasional smoke and coffee buddy... but i won't be waiting for you anymore... my room is always open for you... but i have already locked the doors of my heart and my mind for you...

oh, i remember i handed you two of my favorite books before you left... don't worry, i won't take them back... they're all yours...

before i forget, i have to say this: THANK YOU... because you taught me to be a good player... because you made me realize that i can never really be that boy with a halo... that i'm still that bad boy whose room is hellish... and that same old snob guy who doesn't care whatsoever... i know, you once brought out the good boy in me, but that good boy has already signed off the very moment we broke up...

i guess all i need for now is someone who will lead me back to that same old comfort zone where i was before you took me out... and most definitely it's NOT you... not again...

and this is me, back to that same old journey... still the same old bad boy laughing devilishly...
after all, i guess i've done well with you... i loved you ONCE...
and now it's time for me to love myself... and go back to that same old game i used to play...
i was left alone, but i still have my life... and that's more than enough... i can start from there...

goodbye for now, goodbye forever


=)
and i am now smiling... i guess i'm on my way to unleashing this bad-boy-to-the-next-level in me

and a lot of questions

1. What was the last message in your inbox ? a sweet note from someone...

2. Who is your best friend ? someone i made a post in this blog

3. What schools are you attending right now? UP

4. Do you have a pet ? yep yep, a dog

5. What song are you listening to now ? lost in space

6. Did you kiss anybody in the past 2 days ? Yippie :)

7. Have you ever kissed someone you met in the blogosphere? Nope, haven't met one...

8. Would you be happy if you had everything ? so so

9. Are you always thinking of someone special? yep yep yep... and i'm tired of doing so... :) but i just can't stop...

10. Tell us of your most desperate dream? refer to this post: salamat sa ulan

11. If you had a crush, would you tell that you love him/her now ? Nope, hindi ko yata kaya :)

12. If you could be anywhere in the world now, where would you want to be ? north pole

13. When was your heart last broken? woosh....

14. How many email accounts do you have? 4...

15. What do you wear when you sleep? none... bare naked :)

16. What is your current status? single, available and free... ;) hahaha naughty
17. Are you currently in a relationship? nope...

18. Have you ever been given a rose? yep.. four blue roses (bakit four? ewan ko din)

19. What is your all-time favorite love story movie? i don't like love stories

20. Are you in love ryt now? i don't know... hahaha

21. Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate? soulmate? duh... there's no scientific basis for me to believe in such... :)

22. What's your current problem? refer to #20... :)

23. Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend? hahaha... refer to this post again: salamat sa ulan

24. Do you want to spend your life with the person you're with right now? refer to #2o again...:)

25. How many kids do you want to have? 3 (sana)

26. What is/are your favorite color/s? black, white, blue, pink

27. Do u believe in love at first sight? nope, it's purely infatuation at first sight... :)

28. What were you doing at 8 this morning? sleeping..

29. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? reading blogs

30. How many different things did you drink today? 3... water, lemonade, cereal drink

31. What was the last thing someone bought for you? gummy worms... yum yum

32. What was the last gift you received for your birthday? pillow from my best friend...

33. What color is your mouse right now? red

34. What is the best ice-cream flavor? pistachio

35. What is something you are excited about? graduation :) and life after that..

36. What do you spend most of your money on? personal hygiene = 40%, food = 40% savings = 20% (ganyan ko ibudget ang weekly allowance ko)

37. If you could change anything about the past two months would you? refer to #9 and #20

38. Do you watch The OC? i did

39. Does your screen name have an 'x' in it? kylexxx? hahaha

40. Are you typically a jealous person? yep yep

a dozen of text messages and a song

it was a few minutes before lunch time when i got up...
first thing in the morning: check the messages on my cellphone...
i got twelve - eleven of them (which i guess i was strong enough to read) came from one person
[i will tell the story about the messages soon]

another text message from a friend... and that one really made me go emo this early...
here's the message:

there's a difference between goodbye and letting go...

goodbye is...

i will see you again when i'm ready to hold your hand and when you're ready to hold mine...

letting go is...

i will miss your hand. i realized it's not mine to hold and i will never hold it again...

after my morning rituals, thesis mode again... my mind went blank while staring at the monitor... i could not think of anything... my mind was not yet totally awake... so i decided to turn on the radio... then i came across an unfamiliar song... i got struck by this single song that i had never heard before... good thing, the dj said the title... so i hastily opened youtube to search for a video of that song...



was the song really striking? or am i just being too sensitive?

oh my... what's happening? why this song? why those text messages? why now? after what happened last night? waah..

i guess i have to let you go...
oo na, malaya ka na...

<*it's one heck of an emo day ahead*>

part-time

it has been a while since i last posted in this blog... i've been occupied by lots of things these past few days... thesis, exams, papers, projects... school life.. estudyante mode, as i've always been telling my friends when they ask me to hang out... so many things changed when classes started. top of the list, my frequency of updating this blog and visiting others'.. i have been a blogger since last summer.. i was a full time blogger then, though i was also on my internship mode.. but now, because of this big RESPONSIBILITY attached with being a student, i have to be just a part-time blogger, a part-time student, a part-time friend and a part-time partner.. yes, i don't live my life focusing on just one sphere..

part-time student.. i do not really take studying as a real big deal.. i do not read books and handouts.. neither do i frequent the library (san nga ulit ang library sa campus?)... but at some exceptional situations, i still manage to be a full-time student (like once a month).. yeah, i know my responsibilities and i still make it a point that i accomplish all of them..

part-time friend, part-time adik, part-time emo.. i am more of a happy-go-lucky person.. "adik", as my friends call me.. honestly, i am not that serious type of guy.. you would always see me smiling and laughing like a real adik.. i have problems.. lots of problems.. but they are not evident on me..

part-time partner.. yes, i made up my mind and got that big big COURAGE to enter into this relationship.. with someone who's in the same world as mine.. it is my first time to settle with someone of my kind.. i was hesitant at first.. i got this thought that i might get hurt.. but still, i took the risk..

this semester has really brought lots of changes to me.. it's the second to the last semester that i have to spend in my undergrad (hopefully).. several months from now, i'll be entering into the real world.. i don't know yet what's there for me in the coming days.. but for now, i still want believe that i am doing fine - as a student, as a friend, as a family and as a partner..

oh well, i guess that's all for now.. i still want to tell more .. but i also need to polish the second draft of my thesis..
<*estudyante mode activated*>

i have yet to find another spare time for my stories..


:)

yosi

yosi... ito ang bumubuhay sa puso at utak ko ngayon..
sa parehong paraan na ito din ang unti-unting pumapatay sa aking sistema...

yosi... dito nagsisimula ang bawat kwento sa aking buhay...
sa parehong paraan na dito din natatapos...

gusto ko nang tigilan...
pero hindi pwede...
dahil sa bawat usok, nandoon ang ala-ala...
ala-ala ng bawat kwentong nagwawakas ilang sandali matapos ang simula...
at ala-ala ng bawat tao na naglalaho kasabay ng pagdating ng umaga..

madalas ayaw kong dumating ang umaga...
hindi dahil sa mainit, hindi dahil sa kelangan na namang pumasok sa klase...
kundi dahil sa takot..
ipinapaalala lang ng sikat ng araw na sa buhay na to, hindi lahat permanente...
at sa madalas na pagkakataon, iiwan at iiwan ka ng taong hindi mo man lang ninais mawala kahit sandali..
at sa madalas din na pagkakataon, ala-ala na lang ang maiiwan sayo...
mga ala-alang babaunin mo habang buhay..
mga ala-alang kasama mo kahit sa panaginip...
mga ala-alang madalas na dahilan kung bakit basang-basa ng luha ang unan mo sa gabi..
at mga ala-ala na madalas ding dahilan kung bakit kulay dilaw na ang teddy bear mo na dati ay kulay puti...

hindi ko kayang tigilan ang yosi...
dahil hindi ko sya kayang kalimutan...
dahil kahit na iniwan nya ako...
sya pa din ang hahanap-hanapin ko...
at kahit na maubos na ang yosi sa buong mundo...
mananatili pa din sa aking isip ang bawat usok na aming pinagsaluhan...
dahil sa bawat usok, nandon ang mga ala-ala na iniwan nya...

dahil kahit ilang beses man akong mabuhay...
sya pa din ang pipiliin kong mahalin...
kahit na alam kong iiwan din nya ako...
at kahit na alam kong kagaya ng bawat usok na nakalalason, ay unti-unti din syang maglalaho...

Just Another Beautiful Story

My life used to be a big question

My existence had never been clear

When my world fell

When all I had to chase was my own demise

While I was lost in my own universe,

I found yours

The world that I was longing for

The only place in reality where I knew I could find acceptance

I wandered around and found more than enough of what I was looking for

This time, I am sure of who I am

I am certain of what I want

I am certain of what I need

And I am certain of why I even exist in this world

Now, I already know my purpose

I have already figured out the story that I wanted to create

it’s all because of you

You guided me to my own niche

You made me a different person

A better one indeed

In no doubt, you did a great job

You’ve had a pretty good number of stories

While I am still hoping that in a perfect moment, at a perfect place,

I will be able to start mine as well

You wish for a happy ending

But I simply wish for a story

I know, in due time, our wishes will come true

At some point from now, different pages in our lives will be opened

I know you hope for a better one

Soon enough, you will find one

Sad to say, but apart from mine

Though you may not be a part of my new story

and I may not be a part of yours

Believe me

You will always be in my memory

No matter how wonderful the future might be

You’re only the best that life has given me

This time, just before you settle for your own happiness elsewhere,

Just before you track the path you've always wanted

let me express my sincerest gratefulness

Thank you

Thank you for sharing a story with me

Thank you for putting another beautiful story in my life’s archive

And good luck to the life ahead of you

May you find your happily-ever-after there as I try to find mine here

If only I had a chance to see you

If only I had known you earlier

Maybe someday, somewhere, our worlds will meet again

Until that time comes…

i made this thank-you note couple of months ago... for someone who made me realize who i really am.... but i wasn't able to give it to him. so i just posted it here...
should the time come that he reach this site, maybe he will know that he is the one i am referring to...

stay close

i have nothing in mind...
but this song...
let it speak for me this time...



Stay Close, Don't Go
Secondhand Serenade

I’m staring at the glass in front of me,
is it half empty of our wins or have i ruined all you’ve given me?
I know I’ve been selfish,
I know I’ve been foolish,
but look through that
and you will see,
I’ll do better, I know,
Baby, I can do better.

If you leave me tonight, I’ll wake up alone,
don’t tell me I will make it on my own,
don’t leave me tonight,
this heart of stone will sing till it dies
if you leave me tonight.

Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping,
I listen to your breathing,
amazed how I somehow managed to
sweep you off your feet girl,
your perfect little feet girl
I took for granted what you do.
But I’ll do better, I know
Baby, I can do better.

If you leave me tonight, I’ll wake up alone,
don’t tell me I will make it on my own,
don’t leave me tonight,
this heart of stone will sing till it dies
if you leave me tonight.

And don’t you know my heart is open, oh,
it’s putting up the fight,
and I’ve got this feeling,
that everything’s alright,
and don’t you see,
I’m not the only one for you
but you’re the only one for me.

If you leave me tonight I’ll wake up alone,

discovering wonderland

it was a cold dawn
the rain was falling hard
after a million smoke
after his victory over me in that card game
after the deal we had

he tried to catch me
i gradually fell in his trap
i was his slave on one moment
on the other, he let me feel that i was the master

there was a union of two souls craving for eternal heaven

halfway into wonderland,

and the breeze turned to blaze of fire
i did not know how to get there
but he showed me the way
he never let me lose

it was my first visit to wonderland
such a romantic torture on my innocence
my soft heart was overwhelmed with passion
with his arms around my delicate soul
an intimate moment i never wanted to end

he asked me to join him in his next trip
i promised to

but i don't know if there was a promise of commitment

salamat tol...

masyado ka pang bata. masyadong mahaba ang buhay para magmadali ka. kahit anong mangyari bukas, ang mahalaga, naeenjoy mo ang ngayon. madami pang pwedeng mangyari sa yo. basta hanapin mo ang sarili mo. wag kang matakot sa katotohanan. at wag kang matakot sa mga pwede pang mangyari. kelangan mo lang tanggapin kung ano ka talaga. ngayon ang tamang panahon para gawin mo yan, bago pa mahuli ang lahat.

yan ang sabi sa akin ng isang kaibigan. siguro nga, madami pa lang akong hindi naiintindihan sa kung ano ba talaga ako. madaming tanong. at siguro, takot din ako sa mga posibleng mangyari sa akin.
pero ngayon, pipilitin kong labanan ang takot. pipiliting tanggapin ang totoo kong pagkatao. ngayon, may isang tao na na alam kong mauunawaan ako, isang taong alam ko at sigurado ako na nasa kapareho kong mundo. salamat tol...

why so soon, mom?

somewhere in the night
there were two lonely hearts
gazing at the sunbeam
that vanished gently with the breeze

the color of your face
faded like the morning light
when darkness prevailed
in the cold freezing air

i thought you'd stay forever
but you suddenly said goodbye
amidst the moonlight and twinkling stars
this harsh life drawn you to your demise

(image taken from: http://images.search.yahoo.com)

dota boy

i had a great monday and tuesday because of dota boy. he is one of the few good college friends that i have. and yes, he is among the best ones.

we were from different course. we only became classmates on one of our general subjects. we knew each other since freshmen days because we stayed at the same dormitory back then. but we never had chances to get along with each other. he told me that i look snobbish and intimidating that's why he never talked to me even if he wanted to. we only became friends when we became classmates. during the first day of our class, i came in late (as always). i looked around the auditorium for some familiar faces. i found him and asked if i could sit beside him. he smiled and said yes. from then on, we became good friends. i had a great semester with dota boy. with all our gimiks and our trippings, he made me smile for a million times.

a week before vacation, i received a call from him informing that he would transfer to another campus of our school. i felt sad. but he promised that we are still going to see each other once in a while. and yes, we did not lose communication. we text and call each other - and that’s the best thing i like about him, he never forgets me.

this monday, we finally saw each other again. it has been almost a year since we last saw each other.

there are so much changes with him. except from the fact that he is still addicted to dota, more addicted in fact.

we decided to meet somewhere in makati. we had our lunch there. i told him that i would take charge of our bill but he insisted to pay.

after a while, he asked me where i want to go. i said watching movie would be fine.and he agreed.

our initial plan was to watch a horror movie, but when we arrived at the cinema, we found out that the screening of the movie we wanted to watch had just started twenty minutes ago and the next screening would be two hours later. we could not catch up if we go for the current screening, but too long to wait for the next one. so we decided to just roam around the mall instead.

he asked me if we could stay for a while at the computer shop where he plays dota. i did not want to go to that place since i do not know how to play dota. i told him that i would just stay in a nearby coffee shop and wait until he's done with his game. but he did not want me to leave. he asked me to stay with him while he was playing. so i did. yeah, at times, i can never really say no. he said he would teach me but i refused. i just told him that playing that game wasn't simply my interest. so i decided to just visit my favorite blogs while he was playing dota. yeah, among the crowd of people playing dota, i was the only one blogging...:) as in OP talaga ako...

after an hour, he got finished with his game. we had dinner in a nearby restaurant before we finally said our goodbyes.

he asked me if i could stay in his dormitory that night. i actually wanted to, but i already promised my cousin that i would sleep in her place that time. we finally said our goodbyes. he walked home while i rode on a cab to my cousin's house. i saw a bit of sadness in his face. i knew i disappointed him for not having spent the night with him. i knew we will not be seeing each other for a long while again. but i made a promise to my cousin. and as much as i can, i never want to break promises.

so i decided to call him and set up for another gimik the following day.

and yes, i had a great tuesday as well.

i gave him a call early in the morning to tell him to play as much as he wants while i am not yet there. and to stop his game the moment i arrive... :) it was around 1 pm when i arrived at our meeting place. while he was there since morning playing dota.

we went to a mall to have some snack. i told him i like japanese food (i knew since we have become friends that he doesn't like that kind of food). i asked him if he wanted to try. after about half-hour of thinking, he finally agreed.

we went to a park. we sat on the stairs, lit cigarette and watched people passing by. time stopped for both of us. i was starting to feel sad because the sun was about to set - which reminded me that in any moment, i would have to leave. i could not stay with him for that night because i have a seven o'clock class the following day. so i had to be back to LB.

there was a moment of silence. until he looked straight into my eyes and asked when is the next time we are gonna see each other again. i smiled just not to make him feel sad. i said i would be back whenever i find a free time. i asked him to come with me to LB but he had yet to fix some school stuff. i saw in him an image of a young boy who lost his favorite power ranger toy that time.

our last spot was the tokneneng stall near his dormitory. i was a bit hesitant to eat tokneneng at first because of the thought that it might be dirty. but he wanted me to try. so what else am i gonna do but to say yes. :) that was my first time to eat tokneneng in a street stall. i enjoyed that moment. and yes, among all the foods that we ate for the whole two days, that tokneneng was simply the best.

we parted ways after some stick of cigarette. i was a bit sad but i tried not to make him notice.

there are so many things that dota boy and i are unlike. but for some reasons, we became good friends. i do not feel anything for him but friendship. i do not know if a beautiful story awaits for the two of us. but for me, as of now, he is just a good friend...and i thank him for being such.